


They Both Die in the End

by nymphetsbastard



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Older Eren Yeager, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Smut, season 4 eren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29949753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymphetsbastard/pseuds/nymphetsbastard
Summary: SPOILER ALERT! They both die in the end.in which Eren Yeager tries to save his lover from the casualties ofwar.Disclaimer; the title and story have nothing do with the book “They Both Die at the End” by Adam Silvera.
Relationships: Eren Yeager & Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	They Both Die in the End

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder that this is an X Reader story meaning no “he ran his hands through her hair”, “her pale skin glistened in the sun” , none of that here. This story does not give any physical description of the reader and I will not be using “y/n” for the sake of my own sanity. Reader is not physically described, reader will be identified by pet names or not at all, thank you!
> 
> [DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP WITH THE ANIME]

[THEY BOTH DIE IN THE END](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5hPR56D5oAs8HNeOzbzAFd?si=vm6R0vGHRfaaFEM4rzuMFQ)

If you could go back to it all, would you? Before Marley, before the war, before the titan shifters, before the fall of Shiganshina, before everything — would you go back? Go back to living peacefully inside the walls of Maria watching eh our next door neighbor Eren and his two other friends run around, too nervous to ask yet watching their games of tag together. Go back to the day the youngest Yeager son noticed you from afar and invited you to play with them. Go back to those days. Those final days of peace.   
  
Before it all fell.   
  
Maybe. Maybe you would go back. But you couldn’t. No matter how much prayed and wish upon a star, it would never come to pass. You were stuck. You were all stuck. But in a moment like this, you didn’t mind being stuck here. 

Stuck in his arms, under his broad shoulders and wrapped in your own personal layer of protection. His soft eyelashes laid gently along to top of his cheeks, the dark brown locks you loved so dearly had now grown a little past his chin and his once short and skinny frame had grown significantly since he turned 18. 

You tenderly tucked his long hair behind his ear, watching as his eyelashes fluttered open at the lightest touch. It was sad, honestly, how light of a sleeper he’d become. Anyone who knew Eren only now would’ve laughed at a time he was a heavy sleeper, it was sad, how quickly he had to adapt to constant alert. No longer enjoying his moments of peace and quiet. 

A brown broke you out of your thoughts as Eren licked his lips and drubbed the tiredness out of his eyes before sighed and looking down at the person in his arms. 

Eren couldn’t help but remember the words Jean had once said to him when they were just 15. _“How you managed to find someone like that, I will never know. But don’t screw it up, because you never know if the next time you’ll see them will be on the street or in a body bag.”_ He sighed, reaching his hand over to your cheek, gently caressing the skin.

He knew the two of you would never have a moment like this ever again, that his future will always result in complete anarchy and chaos but that wouldn’t stop him from basking in the light that was you.   
  


_“Good morning.”_ You giggled, this gentle touch sending shivers up your spine.

 _“_ _Morning.”_ He whispered back. _“We have to get up soon. Captain Levi says we have more Marleyan’s coming from the port today.”  
  
_

You sighed and pushed your head closer into his chest, _“That’s boring...and morbid. I just wanna spend time with you.”_ You whined, Eren chuckled sadly. 

_“I know...but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it count now.”_ Eren mumbled, leaning into your neck. You hummed and relaxed in his arms as he began to suck the skin on your neck.

 _“No hickeys. You know what Levi said about them.”_ You breathed out trying to keep your composure, Eren pulled away with a shit eating grin.

 _”Whoops.”_ you rolled your eyes at him and let your lips meet in a hungry kiss. 

Wandering hands roaming each other’s bodies wasn’t uncommon between you whenever you got the chance, but no matter how much he touched you, you couldn’t help but flinch and gasp into his mouth as he cupped your clothed mound.   
  


_"Eren,"_ you pause to take a deep breathe as another moan threatens to escape your reddened lips, _“I thought you said we had somewhere to be.”_ You joked lightly.

 _”Fuck that.”_ He cursed, looking up at you with his dark piercing gaze.   
  


_‘If these are what Eldian devils look like, I wouldn’t mind being a sinner’_ you thought to yourself.   
  


If Eren Yeager was anything, oblivious was not it. He was always attentive with everything he did. But when the lights dimmed and your legs spread for him, Eren Yeager _never_ missed a spot. Twisting and turning, rubbing and spitting, he’d do anything and everything to hear you let out those breathy moans of his name. 

Eren Yeager never had such a good ring to it. 

  
It never took a lot of to have you screaming for him. Eren had mapped out every crevice of your body that sent you shivers, every infinity 8 that had your legs shaking since the first night. He always knew what would have you screaming out in blissful pleasure. Whether it be in pain or pleasure.   
  


"Eren, ah," your shaky hands reach for the scarred back of his past. Nails scratching the surface and painting the once pale canvas a burning red color. 

The burning of your thighs was nothing compared to the knot in your stomach that he wouldn’t let snap. He massaged your thighs as they sat above his shoulders, finally lifting his head to hear your desperate whines to finish. Lips and chin coated in wetness, he grinned and went right back to work. Your mercy pleas finally reached his ears as one of his hand reached up to grab yours, his other stimulating your most sensitive area to get the exact reaction he wanted.   
  


One that left his shirt and his sheets drenched in you. Words didn’t seem to form on your tongue yet he understand everything you needed. Planting a light kiss on your clit, he gently and carefully closed your legs, bringing them back down to earth and laying down on your side. 

Once your breathing returned back to normal all you could mutter was a simple, _“wow.”_ Eren smirked cockily and grabbed your cheeks, pulling you into a much softer yet passionate kiss.

 _”I know.”_ not even trying to make a smart comment, you closed your eyes, preparing for your high to end and the uncomfortable feeling of stickiness that filled the sheets, your thigh and your boyfriend’s face.

 _”You have a little something there”_ you pointed out, pointing to your chin. 

_“Mhm, really? You made a mess too, want me to clean it up?”_ A yes caught in your throat as you realized what he was planning and clasped your hand onto his wrist.

_”Don’t. We still have somewhere to be.”  
_

That smile. That damned smile that always caused you nothing but trouble. Trouble in more ways than one. 

Mikasa and Armin being the first to arrive on time was never a surprise, however coming after Sasha and Connie was borderline suspicious as those two were never on time...to anything. Connie snickered at the sight of you rushing over to the bench with a piece of bread stuck in your mouth as you tried tucking your shirt into your pants. 

You sat down between to Mikasa and Jean, trying your best to not sound like you had ran over here in a hurry, which you had. It was in your best interest to just act like you’d been there the whole time, especially with how meticulous Captain Levi was with scheduling and all that. So you struck up a conversation. 

_“Hey Mikasa, lovely weather we’re having.”_ You spoke up, Mikasa looked up from where her eyes were down casted on her lap and gave you a small smile with a hint of confusion.

 _”Yes, it is lovely...I guess.”_ She mumbled as her voice trailed off. 

You leaned on your arms to look next to Mikasa, “Good _morning, Armin.”_ You greeted the blonde. 

_“Oh, good morning. Have you been there this whole time?”_ Armin questioned, his answer only causing tithe two snickering twins to laugh even harder.

 _”No Armin, she was out having a much better morning.”_ Connie mocked, sending Sasha into a laughing fest with a whole piece of bread still lodged in her mouth. Armin look confused but shrugged it off and went back to drawing in his sketch book, a stress reliving habit he’d picked up after that day at the sea. 

You kicked Connie in the shins and smiled at his hiss of pain and dramatic leg holding, Sasha joining in on your laughs until you kicked her too. She whined and rubbed her shin.

 _”Hey! I didn’t even say_ _anything!”_ She protested and you laughed at her, not noticing Mikasa’s sharp gaze on you.

 _”Where’s Eren?”_ Mikasa asked

_”Commander Hange asked him to stay behind to prep beforehand. Why?”_

_“So I can ask him to leave your fun in the bedroom, respectfully.”_ She smirked, pointing at the hickey on your neck. Your eyes widened at Mikasa’s amused expression and tried to cover the deep red and purple stain with your hand. Jean snickered from next to you, using the magazine he very clearly wasn’t using to cover up his puffed cheeks preventing him from laughing. 

Everyone’s favorite duo however, did not get the memo as they bursted out into a fit of laughter. Their pale cheeks turning bright pink as they leaned on each other for support, nearly throwing the other off the bench. You groaned and dropped your head onto the hardwood table, drowning in embarrassment. 

The scouts had always loved to tease you and Eren at any given chance. Connie and Sasha being especially guilty of this, but even Mikasa loved to poke and prod at the two of you, making jokes of her own.

Mikasa has been your best friend since childhood, her love for both you and Eren only doubled in size when the two of you officially got together when you were 15. She was there for you after every failed mission, after every argument, or even when you just needed girl talk. Even if she never seemed the most emotionally capable person, Mikasa Ackerman was never wrong. She’s somebody everybody could rely on, whether that he for protection or just as a friend, she was always there. 

Always there to buy the constantly hungry Sasha snacks as you and many other scouts arrived to Marley in disguise. While Sasha basked at the taste of new foods, your eyes roamed the crowded city, trying your best not to push anyone. Then, your eyes landed on a familiar head of hair that stood at the edge of the port, looking off into the distance. 

_“Hey...“_ you spoke up before gently sliding your hand on his shoulder, a habit you picked up on because of how guarded Eren constantly is. _“You okay?”_

 _“Yeah, I think so.”_ He mumbled, turning his body to face you directly and placing his hands on your shoulders, _“Are you?”_ He questioned

 _”Mhm. This person dressed up as a clown mistook Captain Levi for a child and I think he actually might’ve traumatized the man.”_ You joked, laughing at the past occurrence.

Although he didn’t laugh, Eren smiled at your happiness, mentally taking a picture of this moment to hold onto later on. 

_“Oi! What do you think you’re doing?”_ Levi interrogated, snatching the arm of a young boy who stood beside a clueless Sasha. You and Eren made your way through the commotion of people spewing out hateful words at the boy as they tried to figure out a brutal punishment for the child. 

Sasha laughed nervously and lied for him, claiming he was just her younger sibling messing around, narrowly avoiding having the child nearly killed for his crime. The boy apologized profusely and thanked them for saving him from impending doom before running off with his younger brother. You smiled softly at the child as he ran off before noticing your boyfriend looking at him with longing and sadness.

 _”Eren? Hey, what’s wrong?”_ You asked softly, reached over to place your hand on his cheek. He blinked and shook his head. 

_“Nothing, let’s go.”  
_

Those next days, that very child had offered you and the scouts a place to rest your heads. Providing you all food, drinks and even alcohol which only ended in disaster and Sasha hunched over a bucket puking her guts out. 

In your arms that night laid a tired Eren, his head on your chest listening to your heartbeat and feeling your chest rise up and down, mentally making sure you continued to do that. And as you slept soundly, the sharp burning sensation in his nose became too much to bear, Eren’s tears silently fell. 

They fell for the memories, or rather the premonition of his future. His cursed future.   
  


They fell for the child he once was. A little boy who wanted nothing more than to prove himself and to his parents that he could go beyond, that he could be free in the world he was born into. A little boy who laughed and loved with his parents, his friends, and the little girl next door who he swore to his mother he’d marry. An innocent little boy. 

They fell for his friends. The only people he couldn’t live without no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise. Not just you, Mikasa and Armin — but Connie, Sasha, Jean, Historia and even Levi and Hange. He lived everyday of his life for the sake of them, for them to live their lives as freely as possible, for them to live the life he would never be able to. 

For the days like before as they all worked on building the port. Sweaty, tired and burning arms as they all hauled ass into the half built train tracks and finally got a moment to relax.

_”Make a base in Marley and infiltrate it, huh?”  
_

_“Hange sure has a plan for everything. I’ll be able to show down on some real Marleyan cuisine.”_ Sasha replied, her mind already lost a sea of new foods but you smiled at her enthusiasm.

_”Yeah? What should I bring? It would stink to get the runs.”  
_

_“Stomach medicine, toothbrush, a taste of home...”_ Sasha listed off

” _Did you even hear Hange’s plan?”_ Mikasa questioned

 _”If the world knows that we want peace, maybe something will change.”_ Armin suggested hopefully.

 _”Armin, you know I love the way you think but...not everyone thinks like you. Even the Marleyans we have here are still hot headed over us just existing in the same space as them, they don’t seem like very peaceful people in my opinion.”_ You spoke up, Armin sighed and nodded as a small moment a silence waved over you all. 

_“If only we had more time. I’ve got just over five years left. We’re gonna have to decide who inherits my Titan soon.”_ Eren brought up, a new point but not one that hadn’t crossed all your minds. 

_“I will”_ Mikasa attempted to step up 

_“Not you. We still don’t know what the Ackermanns are. And won’t it hurt any plans with Hizuru if you become a Titan? No, for so many reasons.”_ Jean dismissed, Mikasa looked down sadly, feeling as though there was nothing she could do to help.

 _“Then who will?”_ She snapped, you placed you hand over hers and gave her heartwarming smile before leaning your head on her shoulder in a means to calm her down. 

_”Me. First of all, I’m way smarter than Eren. Instead of a suicidal maniac, you’ll have a gifted leader who shows good judgement in all situations. In other words, me.”_ He concluded in his bashful statements. “ _I hate getting an Eren hand-me-down but who better than me?”_

 _“Someone that amazing we don’t wanna lose in 13 years, moron.”_ Connie cursed, you snickered and nodded.

 _”He’s right, Jean. All those things you just said about yourself are true, which is why we need you one hundred percent human and intact for over 13 years. You’re too good of a leader to lose now.”_ you explained, Jean groaned in annoyance.

_”You’re aiming to be regiment leader. I’ll inherit Eren’s Titan. It works out good, right?”_

_”Connie...”_ Eren faltered, slightly surprised at the high and dangerous position Connie was willing to take. 

_“That’s not good at all. You’re an idiot.”_ Sasha replied

_”Eh?”_

_“Don’t ‘eh’ me. We can’t leave such an important role up to an idiot.”  
_

_“Eh?”_ Connie continued, still shocked.

 _”Doggone it...I’ll inherit it. I’ve got combat experience...I’m someone you can trust...By process of elimination, it’s gotta be me.”_ Sasha divulged, you lifted your head from Mikasa’s shoulder and raised your hand.

 _”Um hello? I’m still here.”_ You said sarcastically, 

_“I know but Eren’s your boyfriend and I find it pretty morbid if you were forced to eat your lover for the sake of humanity so, by default, it has to be me!”  
_

_“You guys...”_ Eren mumbled, going unnoticed as Sasha continued her rambling.

 _”I dun wanna. I sure dun wanna though.”_ Sasha trembled, the mere thought of everything Titan shifters had to go through repeating in her head on loop. 

_“Wait, huh? Isn’t that weird?”_ Connie spoke up again 

_“What?”  
_

_“Well you know...you said an idiot’s not fit for the role.”_ Sasha raised an eyebrow at him, still confused, _“You’re more of an idiot than I am, so you’re contradicting yourself.”_ As Connie finished his explanation, the two exchanged Huh’s and watched each other dramatically.

 _“Moral of the story, you’re both idiots.”_ You stood up from the hard box, _“I’ll inherit the Titan. Who knows maybe I’ll be the first super sexy female attack Titan. Like Annie.”_ You thought out loud

 _”You think Annie’s Titan is hot?”_ Jean asked incredulously, you put one finger up and shushed him, not wanting to discuss the topic further. 

_“No. I don’t want any of you to inherit it.”_ Eren stated, _“And especially not you.”_ He looked at you. 

_“Oh come on, once you die I’ll have nothing to live for. Besides, I don’t wanna be old anyway.”_ You shrugged nonchalantly, Eren shook his head. 

_“No! You guys are more important to me. More than anyone else. So, I want you to have long lives and...”_ he looked at you again, _“when I die...I want you to move on—”_

You cut him off with a scoff and grabbed your makeshift seat, dropping it next to his. _“No, that’s bullshit. I won’t accept that.”_ You protested 

_“So, what? You’re just gonna wallow about me the rest of your life without even trying to do anything better?”  
_

_“Yes! That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”_ Eren scoffed at your answer and shook his head. 

_“I’m serious.”_ He snapped 

_“So am I! I don’t wanna start a family some random person I know I’ll never love. I don’t want a home if it’s not with you, Eren.”_ you objected, _“So, if worse comes to worst, i’ll inherit your Titan.”_ Eren sighed, already knowing he would never change your mind once it was made up.   
_  
“Bleh, keep the cute sappy stuff in the bedroom guys.”_ Jean complained, lightening up the mood in the cart as everyone chucked lightly.

 _”Best get used to it, Kirstein.”_ You swung your arm over Eren’s shoulder, _“I’m not leaving this Earth without my man.”_ You said proudly, the boy blushing at your words. 

My man. That’s all he ever wanted to be to you. Yours. For now and forever, he didn’t care if he had to trample anyone and everyone in his path, Eren would do anything to keep that title in your heart.

There was a point in time once when he thought of growing a family with you. Even though he felt he wouldn’t be the best father in the world, he couldn’t help but grasp at any straws that led to a happy ending with you. Maybe in another life, he always thought to himself. 

Another life where you were all free. Where all of you could be real teenagers, go to a normal high school, have normal life and live a full life. Where Ymir, Bertolt, Erwin and everybody else didn’t have to die for the sake of everyone else. Where all of you could get a full nights sleep without constantly having to watch your back. 

Yeah...another life sounded like bliss. 

But another life is not what you had, what you had now was war.   
  
A war none of you were prepared for. None except Eren, who proudly and happily pounded into the face of the war hammer Titan, not leaving any room for full transformations. Even as he became outnumbered with all odds against him, he was granted his final words in which he uttered a simple.

 _”It’s now or never, Mikasa.”  
_  
Unleashing all scouts in hiding as they rose up, dropping thunder spears into the Marleyan soldiers and aiding Eren in his fight. Bodies and bombs dropped left and right as Mikasa crouched down next to her best friend. _  
_

_“Eren...Do you have any idea what you’ve done? You killed civilians, you killed children, too. You’ve done things that can’t be undone.”_ She pleaded with him, trying to see even a glimmer of sympathy in his eyes and yet there was none to be found.

 _“She’s mad at you...you know that?”_ She tried once more, finally getting a hint of a reaction out of Eren. That reaction lasted only a millisecond and the hurt in his eyes was once again replaced with a look of dullness and lackluster of his usual bright blue ones.

He looked away, ”She _can be mad all she wants, it makes no difference to me. The fight isn’t over.”_ Mikasa gasped at the sight of the war hammer she’d just took down moments before standing right back up on its feet. And a constant pitter patter hit the back of her head at Eren’s words.   
  
How quickly he shoved aside your feelings and put his own before it, a rare thing Eren had never done before. But for now, your job in all this was to stay alive. 

You assisted in as much combat as possible before making your way back into the airship along with the rest of the remaining scouts. Being the first to arrive on the ship meant biting your nails in anxiety as you waiting for everyone else to reach it. Armin reached down for the boy he once thought to be his best friend, pulling him up into the ship. 

Just like the old days, Levi Ackerman had a couple kicks in store for Eren, not hesitating to remind him of how much he changed. Even bringing up his past in the underground and the dirty look Eren had grown into, never expecting to see it on the boy he gave up everything for. As much as it much as it hurt to see Eren being kicked around like a rag doll, you wouldn’t get in the middle, especially knowing what he’d just done. 

The lives he ended, the irreparable damage he had caused, it all gave Levi more than enough reason to toss him around. You, on the other hand, didn’t make an effort to speak to him.

And for Eren, that was okay. If it would change anything, Eren would make you hate him for the rest of your life. If it would change anything, Eren could’ve saved Sasha. If it could change anything, Eren would restart everything and never invite you to play tag with him. He would steer clear from you at all costs. He would let you marry some townsman, have a couple kids and grow old inside the walls, never to be a witness of all the atrocities outside of them. 

If Eren can change anything, he _will_ make sure you stay alive. No matter who or what gets in his way, whether he has to tear down every wall or speak to Ymir Fritz her damn self, Eren Yeager will save you from death. 

Eren Yeager will not leave this godforsaken earth without his woman. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, stay tuned for the next chapter. Shares, kudos and especially comments are very appreciated<33


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